Message to Our Students: You are not a human doing, but a human being

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”-Unknown
 
It's okay to ask for help. Asking for help is not a weakness, but a strength. We don't know everything all the time, and we need support to build up our confidence, efficacy and sense of wellbeing as a teacher and as a person.
 
Growing up, I was taught and was conditioned in various living environments as a child to depend on myself, that being self-made is what makes one strong and the only solution to conquer our fears and doubts. It took sleep problems and a recent panic attack, followed by days of being in a panicked state to realize that as much as you can be passionate about what you do, be a go-getter and have hopes and aspirations to change the world by shifting your surroundings, sometimes your body needs rest.
 
I remember reading about Sonia Choquette's experience in her book, "Traveling at the Speed of Love" where she shared about how although her mind and spirit has a plethora of ideas and practices that she wants to bring forth into her professional life  the body sometimes needs to rest and is not quite ready for that.
 
I did not think about this mind-body connection until having to experience this anxiety now, where it is showing me what my limits are, and when it is that I need to take a break.

Slowing down is hard for me because I have always been trained
to think, from my parents and in school,
that we have to work hard to get what we want
and to reach our potential and aspirations.

So what do I do? I tend to jam up my schedule to make sure I am being productive to the point of exhaustion but refusing to admit that I am exhausted. When I do feel exhausted, there is always another coffee right at arm's length (so I reassure myself).
 Sure, I know these days there is a lot of talk about mindfulness, self-care and taking care of our mental health in education for teachers and students. However, to actually let go and allow myself to engage in these practices feels self-indulgent and almost brings me a sense of guilt. There is the feeling of guilt for not spending more time looking over the next lesson that I am teaching, or reading another book related to what I am teaching, or putting in more time to answer my work emails and make appointments to support my students; the list goes on.
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It took my body to finally shut down by having a panic attack, followed by days of being in a state of underlying panic as I go about my routines, that I realize I need to stop.

Stop and breathe. Stop and breathe.
Stop and breathe
AND to go and reach out to friends and family for support.

It wasn't until I reached out to talk to them that I realize all around me there are people who do care and that it is not a bother to someone when you need help and reassurance. This is important to feel as a person and as an educator because I have always told my students (no matter preschool, elementary, high school or undergraduate) never to hesitate to ask for help because getting support when you know you need it is the smartest thing to do; we can't go about everything all on our own. Funny that the advice that I doled out to my students all these years is becoming something I have to live through to truly understand that asking for help for some may be a difficult thing to do, despite how supportive you may seem as a teacher, as an adult, as a parent, etc.
 
This experience is showing me that sometimes asking for help, in some students’ eyes, may be linked to the stigma that not knowing something or not doing something on your own is a weakness, and that it may also indicate you are imperfect (even though they have been told time and time again that perfection cannot be attained). The fact is though, when we think about the messages that we send to our students (i.e., "be all that you can be"; "reach for the stars"; "you can do anything you put your mind to", etc.) while coming from good intentions and an honest and loving place in our hearts, can sometimes be overwhelming. I am not suggesting to do away with the positive and encouraging messages at all; what I am suggesting is that sometimes it's alright to just be.

To let students have the space to feel like they are in the in-between and that it is alright,
to not move it or fix it,
but sit with it and
think about what it is that
they are learning
and accepting about themselves at this moment. 

I am learning from my own panic attack experience that my mind is telling me to continue to forge ahead, to shift gears, to think of exciting new projects to distract myself and to not stay stagnant in my panicked state, but my body is now showing me this needs to change. When trying to get out of a panicked state, it is not about being productive. Instead, try sitting with it, soothing it with deep breathing, getting support from loved ones, and putting that productive mind on hold. My body needs this to reset and find the balance again.
 
So when we approach and relate to our students, I am starting to understand that yes, you can be all that you can be. Yes, you can reach for the stars. Yes, it's essential to be dedicated, hardworking and think about what you can contribute the world with your unique talents.  But, don't forget to marvel at where you are right now and rest when you need to.

You are, after all, not a human doing, but a human being.

Your worth is not dependent on what you do or don't do; it's who you are and how you see yourself, others and your surroundings, no matter if you are in that productive headspace or when you are in the space for needing respite and rest. As an educator, I always strive to make sure that my students are kind to themselves and each other; it is about time that I learn to be kind to myself, too. John Gatto once said, "We teach who we are, loud and clear, even if a word is not uttered." From this experience, I am being reminded once again that by taking rest and honoring that I am worthy even when I need to take a break, is not only helping me to restore balance, but be an example for my students, not only through my words but my presence, too.
 

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